23-29 September 2019

Join us for fertility discussions, advice & support

Whanau building for single people and same sex couples

‘Social infertility’ is the term which describes infertility due to a lack of the required elements (i.e. eggs or sperm) to create a child.  People who attempt to overcome the practical hurdles through processes like donor sperm, sometimes then discover there is also an issue with their own fertility.  This can come as a shock as often the focus has been on the logistics of how to conceive a child.

Same sex couples

  • Deciding to try for a family can feel somewhat overwhelming.  Navigating physiological, financial, legal, ethical and social issues combined with the search for a donor and/or surrogate can sometimes be all-consuming. 
  • Children born to LGBTQI+ parents are much-wanted – and recipient whanau are grateful for the generosity of the donors and surrogates who have made it possible for them to become parents. 

Single people

  • An increasing number of women and men are choosing to become parents without a partner.  Many of these people are in their mid to late 30s, or early 40s, and have not found a partner but do not wish to forego the opportunity of parenthood.  There can be many losses to grieve as you perhaps change direction from anticipating parenting with a partner, to single parenthood. 

Emotional considerations

  • As you embark on this journey, you will need to identify who your support person (or people) are.  Think carefully about who this person is as they will need to be reliable, dependable and able to be a calm anchor for you.  They may accompany you to treatments and act as a sounding board.
  • Babies and children are very time consuming and it is especially important for single people to have some time-out factored into their lives.  Look after yourself and do not be afraid to ask for help at any stage.
  • Being a single parent involves courage and resilience.  It entails taking sole responsibility for decisions around the child.  Embarking on a journey to single parenthood can feel equally nerve-wracking and empowering.