23-29 September 2019

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Infertility in New Zealand

Infertility in New Zealand

What is infertility? Who is affected? What help is available?

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Experiencing Infertility

Experiencing Infertility

Understanding the non-physical aspects of infertility

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Supporting those with infertility

Supporting those with infertility

Learn how to support whanau or friends who are facing infertility

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Shanaye's Story

Waiting on their miracle...

Our journey so far: I have always had some sort of issue as soon as my period began. I had problems getting anyone to help me at the doctors so gave up trying. My husband and I began trying not long after we married (nearly 5 years ago). I went to the doctor after 8 months of trying but again had no answers. 

After about 2.5 years of trying we saw a new doctor who referred us to our local fertility clinic straight away and thankfully were seen within a couple months (Feb 2018). We were given answers straight away and I was told both of my Fallopian tubes were blocked. The best chance at having successful IVF was to have them both removed. 

The surgery happened in November 2018. I have had surgeries before but I was not prepared for the emotional roller coaster I would face with this surgery. The surgery it self was a success but I faced a lot of challenges, mainly the realisation that without IVF we would never be able to conceive on our own. I also struggled with people around me not entirely understanding the pain and emotions I was feeling.

The surgery was a no brainer at the time but after it happened I had a lot of regret even though I knew they didn’t work, it was a horrible feeling that took a lot to get over. In May 2019 we began our first round of IVF, I was surprised at how easy injecting myself every night for a couple weeks was. It quickly became our before bed ritual and was rather easy. I kept telling myself “this is the easy bit” and it was. 

I spent a few weeks being poked and prodded, blood tests, ultrasounds, and multiple drives to Hamilton. When it finally came to the egg collection I was ready for it. I’m going to be honest I was so guttered that after all of that we only got 6 eggs, I’m 27 and healthy, and I knew others who were machines and would get at least a dozen. They say it only takes one but it also takes the right one at the right time... it’s a lot of science and quite a bit of luck. 

A week passed and we drove to Hamilton for our transfer not knowing how many or if any survived. Thankfully 4 had survived. 1 was transferred and the remaining 3 were frozen. 

The “2 week wait” as they say went pretty fast and shortly we found out we were expecting. 

Sadly at 6 short weeks we miscarried. We aren’t entirely sure what happened and are heart broken. That was the hardest, most horrible thing we had to face. 

We have lost a few what were close friends because they chose not to understand and then ignored our journey, but we also gained a lot of great new friendships. I have been very open about our journey, sharing all the steps and am so thankful that out of a challenging time there were amazing people cheering us on and talking about their challenges they are facing.

We have only done one round of IVF and it was a real challenge. We are currently taking a break before we try a frozen transfer. This journey has taught me that it is so important to look after yourself and your mental health. During this journey you need to make sure you come first. 

This is a journey like no other and talking about it is so important. Even if you only have 1 person you can talk to (not including your partner if you have one) you need to be 100% honest with how your feeling and talk to someone, always talk and  don’t keep it inside. Make sure you do things for yourself, take some time off work and have a massage, walk, get your hair done, just get out and do something not fertility related.